AVOID EGO-BASHING QUESTIONSFebruary 18th, 2015 |
When it comes to ego, everyone is like a hemophiliac with paper-thin skin. If your wording of an innocent comment even subtly insinuates a less-than-positive view of your listener, it’s a pin prick that causes emotional bleeding. If you inadvertently give someone enough teensy pricks, they stop liking you. And that can have untold personal and professional repercussions.
Here are just a few everyday phrases I often mention that, unless you tweak them, possibly as suggested, subconsciously attacks your listener’s ego.
Avoid asking “Do you know . . . ?” Or “Have you ever heard of . . . “” If they must answer “no,” they’re embarrassed. Instead say “Do you happen to know . . . ?”Or “By any chance, have you heard of?” That makes it more acceptable if they haven’t.
Avoid asking “Do you want another glass of wine?” (Or whatever their beverage.) Some people are sensitive about their drinking. Soften it by saying, “May I serve you some wine?” They know it’s their second—or third. But it’s not obvious that you do!
Avoid saying “I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.” Or “Oh, I’m so bad with names.” It makes him/her feel pretty forgettable! Instead say, “I want to remember your name. Please remind me.” These are just a few common examples of which there are hundreds.
LITTLE TRICK: Before asking anyone a question, ask yourself this one. "What could an insecure person possibly assume from it?" Because, no matter how confident he or she comes across, deep down EVERYONE is insecure.