October 2010

I don’t know about you, but hate having to be peppy and conversational when I walk into an office and face the faces I’ll have to face all day. In one particular company I’d been consulting with for a few weeks, everyone was small talk addicted — especially the first 10 minutes of every day. I wished I could be invisibly teleported from the parking lot to my cubicle. However, I usually joined in the meaningless chatter because I didn’t come across as unfriendly, shy, or a human Ambien.

Recently I found the solution! I struck up a friendship with one particular woman who had a reputation of being extremely energetic and outgoing. I shared my dilemma with her at lunch. She said, “Leil, you know how first impressions are so lasting? Well, theyaren’t just for when you meet people. ‘You’re making a “first impression’ every day. If you want to look friendly but not sit around chewing the fat, here’s the trick: Just before coming in the office in the morning, throw your shoulders back, soften your face into a relaxed smile, and give a big lively greeting to everyone. This certifies you as being friendly, energetic and optimistic. And it only takes a minute.

“You don’t need to stay revved up and chatty all day. After that first little burst of effervescence, your coworkers see you as a confident and congenial individual and they’ll hardly notice that you’re not chewing the fat with them later. They’re all thinking about themselves anyway. “

I noticed the next morning, Felicia followed her own advice. She came in with a big hi and a smile and nobody noticed she wasn’t in the water cooler confabs later. Cool.

Every morning, you hear a lethargic “Mornin’” or “G’mornin’” floating around the office, the neighborhood, or the gym. Suppose you wake up tomorrow morning and say to yourself, “Today I feel like going up a notch or two in people’s estimation.” Easy task. To sound smarter, more professional, and cultured, simply pronounce all three syllables of a greeting. “Good mor-ning.” “Good eve-ning.” It’s a no-brainer. And don’t forget to add their name!

Here’s some more shine for your act:
These days, you seldom hear an entire sentence spoken when meeting someone. You’ll hear sentence parts, like “Happy to meet you,” or “Pleased to meet you.” But those mutterings wouldn’t pass a grade school grammar test. Your teacher would point an accusatory finger at you and demand, “Where’s the subject? Where’s the verb?”

To make a good impression in more formal settings, go for it–an honest-to-goodness whole sentence with a subject, an object, and maybe an adjective or preposition thrown in. For starters, try, “I’m happy to meet you.” When you feel at ease with that one, upgrade it: “I’m very happy to meet you.” “What a pleasure it is to meet you” counts as a complete sentence, too, although Emily Post would stick up her cultivated nose at the word “pleased.” So, When meeting people in highly professional or upscale situations . . .

Hit them with a whole sentence!

It should include a noun and a verb. Adjectives optional. Of course I am not suggesting flawless phraseology and Emily Post’s ritual when meeting new casual friends. Keep in mind, Emily died in 1960, and many of her suggestions should be buried with her.