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Make him/her feel like a person, not a customer

This tip is for anyone who deals with the public, especially retail and customer service folks. Yesterday I was at a draperies store talking with a sales associate about purchasing some window shades. She was knowledgeable, had good eye contact, …
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Avoid These Common Words That Hint You’re Not Being Honest with Someone

Stop and think for a moment. Is there someone in your life that, for some reason you can’t describe, you feel isn’t being 100% honest or truthful? Maybe you haven’t actually caught him in a lie but you have a …
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Get Business Associates to Read Your Messages

Did you know that people who reside in mental institutions use the word “I” twelve times more than “non-residents?” Ergo, it figures that the fewer times you use the word “I,” the more lucid—and less self-centered—you sound. If you use …
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How to Be More Magnetic Without Saying a Word

Here’s a Little Trick that works instantly. Yet, strangely enough, I’ve never known anyone to use it consciously. It will make you look more approachable, attractive, and amiable. It concerns your at-rest facial expression, the one you never think about and …
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How to Get the Best Service on the Phone

AND, WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, MAKE SOMEONE'S DAY. When talking to customer service, call centers, tech support, secretaries or sales reps on the phone, you’re at their mercy on what they'll do for you–and how fast. Here are tiny tips for …
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Don’t Even Mention New Year’s Resolutions!

I don’t want to sound like a New Year’s Grinch (I love the holiday) but please don’t ask your friends about their New Year’s resolutions. It's invasive and forces people to confess something negative about themselves. Why? Because people usually …
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How to Wish Friends “Happy Holidays” in a More Sincere Way

The holidays are here and, whether you are happy or hassled (probably a bit of both) you’ve heard “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays" dozens of times so far—and it's not over yet! The sentiment is lovely, but any phrase you repeat …
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How to Survive Thanksgiving and Save Everyone at the Table

Thanksgiving dinner is often a time when you see your relatives once a year (Some think that’s once too much–and there’s a reason for that which I’ll get into shortly.) Hosts all over the country laboriously contemplate every facet of the great Thanksgiving …
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How to Sound Like a Lawyer and Win Arguments

Attorneys may not be the most beloved group of individuals. But good ones who have warm eye contact, effective body language—and just a touch of legaleze to show they know their stuff—win cases. Why not pick up some tips from them? …
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Should I Hug or Not Hug?

When saying hello or goodbye to a friend/acquaintance, should you give them a hug?  That question has become something of a national dilemma. The Western world seems to fall into two categories concerning this confounding matter – the “Hug lovers” and the …
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Deepen Friendships Without Saying a Word

We like people who like us. (It means they have good taste, right?)  So, it only stands to reason, to encourage someone to like you professionally or socially, find ways to demonstrate you like them. No, we’re not talking compliments. …
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How to Connect with Someone in a Group

Watch out, the following “Little Trick,” if done incorrectly, can make you look creepy. But, if you execute it smoothly when the situation is right, you win the affection and respect of someone you want to impress. You can use it …
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How to Come Out Smelling Like a Rose When Somebody Accuses You of Something

Here’s a great way to deflect verbal accusations. Even if you’re guilty, it will leave your accuser speechless—and impressed with you! Upon hearing the accusation, most people immediately jump in with an anxious and defensive “BUT . . .” followed by …
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How to Make Your “Thank-you” Really Count

  When someone gives you a gift, of course you say "thank -you." However, those words are so common they are simply ambient noise. The bottom line is that the giver expects your thanks, and therefore it is nothing out of …
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Don’t Touch Your Face While Talking

Oops, did you know that something as touching your face while speaking can signal that you're not being honest? Keep them away–especially from your mouth. It subconsciously signals that you know you shouldn't be saying what you're saying.

How to Walk on the Street with Someone (What???)

That sounds like a pretty lame topic, right? But, hold on, there are some subtleties you might want to consider. By employing a few of the following little tips, you show the person you're strolling with that you like and respect …
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Oops, What to Do When You’ve Called Someone by the Wrong Name

Here's a great way to handle it when you've called someone by the wrong name. Today an acquaintance called me "Kate." Instead of the usual fluster, she simply smilingly said "Oh, I'm so sorry. I once had a best friend …
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A Friendlier Way to Walk With Someone

Ladies, whenever you're walking side-by-side with someone, (especially a man!)  move your purse to the other side. It's more friendly. Any object between you is something of a barrier.  Of course if you're trying to cut someone off (a guy?), …
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Change Your “But” to “However”

I'd like to say something about a word we use every day, lots of times. It's "BUT.” Practically any warm sentiment you've expressed before the "but" is forgotten. For example, suppose she asks for your help, and you respond: “I’d really …
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If You Do This, Prepare to Get Ignored in Conversation

Yesterday six of us were having lunch. While the rest of us were talking, one woman pulled out her phone and started texting someone. It was subtle, but I noticed that hardly anyone at the table had much eye contact …
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Are You Open to Some Constructive Criticism? NO!

When someone hears "Are you open to some constructive criticism," he/she thinks, "Oh oh, here comes some blame, reproach, denigration." Constructive, ha!" Don't use that phrase if you want to keep his/her friendship or good will.

How to Make ’em Smile When They See Your Email Message

Here’s a fab little email trick which is used way too seldom.  People who juggle a mammoth amount of email daily (like almost 100% of us) could save tons of time . . . and create good will with the recipient. In Internet …
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How to Win People’s Respect at Work

I know, you’ve heard it over and over and over again ad nauseum. We all have: “You never have a second chance to make a good first impression.” True, but WHOA! The first impression people get of you every morning …
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How to Help Make Your Conversation Comfortable

‘Natch, whenever we settle into a couch or chair in our home or office to have a chat, we instinctively shift our bodies into a comfy position. It’s a no brainer. But here’s where a bit of a brainer should …
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How to Thank a Thanker

When someone says “Thank-you” to you for, say, buying something at a store, for coming to an event, or for ANYTHING, here’s a nice response. Whenever it’s appropriate, say “No, thank-YOU” (highlighting the YOU of course.)

How to Ask a Foreigner Where He’s From

In America, we think foreign accents are cool. But often people are embarrassed about theirs. Or perhaps they think they speak English so well that no one could tell they are from another country. Either way, it’s best to avoid …
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How an Extra Second of Silence Shows Confidence

When asked a question, people who are insecure, insincere, or too anxious to please jump in with a quick answer. But if you pause a second before answering, you come across as more self-assured. It also shows respect and gives …
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Don’t Touch Your Ear When Someone is Talking!

I know, I know, this sounds like a strange one. Most people know how to read basic body language. Like someone crossing his arms means he’s rejecting your idea. And cocking her head means she’s interested in what you’re saying. …
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Your E-Mail on Easter is All the More Special

Send a message TODAY to a few special people in your life, and tell them what they mean to you. It means all the more to those who celebrate Easter because that's the time to be with (in reality or …
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Don’t Say “Happy Easter.” Be Original & Kick It Up a Notch

You hear dozens of phrases that are so prevalent they don’t mean anything anymore. You know, like “Have a nice weekend” and (my personal pet peeve) “Have a nice day.” The sound goes in one ear and out the other—and …
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How to Show Your Boss You’re an Enthusiastic Late Worker

I know, I know, this one sounds devious. But dedicated and accomplished people usually love their work and find themselves thinking about long past 5pm.. So say you need to send your boss an update or some ideas on a …
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Should I Use Their Full Name or Nickname?

It's natural to assume people would feel friendlier if you use their nickname. But be careful! A lot of people prefer their more formal name. For instance, if someone you meet has a name which usually has a nickname (like …
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Do tweeting and Facebook hurt your love life?

Hmm, I’m not sure I believe this one, but a serious study at the University of Missouri found that tweeting and other social media use was linked to infidelity and divorce:  http://bit.ly/1srY2qf They forgot to mention, of course, that almost …
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How to Avoid Anyone Thinking You’re Angry

Whenever you are talking with anyone, he/she senses subliminal signals about how you feel–sentiments you yourself may not even know you have. When you’re angry or hostile, your hands instinctively close up almost as though you want to make a …
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How to Make Your “Hello” Punchier

Believe it or not, you can make your "hello" pack a bigger positive wallop by just changing the accented syllable. Usually we say "HEL-low." But switch it to "hel-LOW" and now it sounds like you are extra pleased to see …
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Don’t Take This the Wrong Way

Don't start any conversation with those words. Even if you are sincere, when they hear, "Please don't take this the wrong way," that's precisely what they will do!

How Can I Make My “Nice Day” Greeting More Sincere?

Whenever checking out at the drugstore, the supermarket or department store, I often hear the salesperson saying “Have a nice day.” I look up to smile at her/him—and the cashier isn’t even looking at me! It gives me the opposite …
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What is One Word That Helps Deepen Friendships?

Here’s a lovely way—just by tweaking a few common phrases– to make friends, colleagues and even strangers have a warmer reaction to you.  I call it: “The YOU for THAT Substitution.”  Here’s how it works: When complimenting something someone said or …
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How Can I Fake a Real Smile? (When I Have To)

Everyone knows there are real smiles and fake ones. And unfortunately practically everyone can sense when they are the recipient of the latter.  (As cynical as it sounds, whether for political, social or benevolent reasons, we cannot deny that giving …
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How Should I Sit To Show a Man I Like Him?

Ladies, if you are sitting on a couch next to a man you like, be sure to cross your legs toward him. It subliminally signals your feeling of attraction. The opposite is also true. If you don't welcome his attention, …
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Why You Should Never say “Always” (and Vice Versa)

When arguing a point, avoid using the words ALWAYS and NEVER. The person you are arguing with is bound to find at least one exception. Therefore he/she can prove you wrong.

A Fantastic Compliment to Give a Woman? A Man?

Every woman loves hearing her man say "You are beautiful both inside and out." However, "You are handsome" is not a male's fave. He'd prefer to hear "You are right."  Go figure.

10 Little Tricks to Make Me Look More Confident

My regular readers know that I’m a big “fake it ‘till you make it” advocate, especially when it comes to exuding confidence. It makes sense because your mind and body strive to agree. (You Neuroscience buffs know it as “cognitive …
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How Can I Meet Tourists & Make Them Smile?

If you see someone photographing their partner in a scenic area, offer to take a picture of of both of them. together. You'll love their smiles.

Create Better Rapport Using Different Length Sentences

Does the person you just met speak mostly in longer sentences, or shorter sentences? Believe it or not, if you do the same in conversation, it's creates better rapport and he/she is more apt to like you!

What Should I Ask Myself When Meeting Someone New?

While meeting someone new, consciously ask yourself, "What can I learn from this person?" And, "What would she enjoy talking about?" It's usually the same thing!

Why Saying “No Problem” IS a Problem

It seems that a virus is spreading all across America and is expanding at an alarming rate. The cause of the disease is not known, but it is highly infectious among the young. One unique aspect of this malady is …
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What to Say When Someone Tells You “News” (That You Already Heard)

Whenever someone gives you good news (that you already knew), don’t tell her you already heard. Just thank her enthusiastically. Good people like giving fiends good news. Let her enjoy it.

How Can I Make People Want to Do Favors For Me?

I you want someone to do a favor for you, always ask "May I ask you for a favor?" Or start with, "I'd like to ask you for a favor." It's been proven that you're more apt to get it!

What is a Special Way For Me To Say “Happy New Year?”

You will hear and say “Happy New Year” many times today. It’s a heartfelt and lovely sentiment. Like any phrase heard too many times, however, it loses some of its punch. To make your good wishes more memorable, tweak it …
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