Author Archives: leil

Sure, you know how important it is to smile at someone. But what you may not know is that subconsciously people have a sixth sense whether your smile is real or fake. And a fake smile is almost worse than no smile.

Here’s a quick “Little Trick” to make sure your smile exudes sincerity. I call it "The Lingering Smile." Simply hold it a few seconds longer, even AFTER you’ve both looked away. Their peripheral vision will perceive it and sense your smile's authenticity or lack of it. 

Some Thanksgiving dinner conversations with the family are super. Others are strained. To keep the chit-chat in the first category, ask everyone what he or she has to be thankful for. When it's your turn, be sure to include, "I'm thankful I have such a wonderful family."

Ouch, how many people have already asked you that question this week? (And how many of those acquaintances really care?) They probably just want to tell you about what THEY are doing anyway.

So, if you’re tired of talking turkey, simply smile and answer, “Going crazy!” If you want to extend the conversation, add, “How about you?”

 A nice question to ask real friends is, “So tell me some of the things you’re thankful for this Thanksgiving.” (Remember, when people talk about happy things, they subliminally “connect” those good feelings with you.) When they then reciprocate, be sure to include, “I’m thankful I have a friend like you.”

Happy Thanksgiving!

I've heard people introduce themselves with "My name is . . ." and their voice goes UP at the end of the sentence. That makes it sound like a question!  Make it goes DOWN to exude confidence and sound like you're sure of who you are.

Holiday parties are coming up soon! Ho ho ho. Be sure to hold your drink in your left-hand to keep the right free for handshakes. Not only that, but if you don't, they might get a wet soggy one and think you're nervous–or a cold fish!

When you use this little tip, you also save people the embarrassment of forgetting each other’s names: Let's say you are introducing a Justin to an Ashley. First say, “Ashley, I’d like you to meet Justin. Justin this is Ashley.” Then, indicating each with your hand, REPEAT “Ashley—Justin. Justin—Ashley.”

Until you get used to it, you may feel awkward saying each name several times. But they will both be grateful for the memory aid—and everyone listening will be impressed with your sensitivity to the discomfort of forgetting someone's name.

Most people think a good handshake means a strong grip. But that's not the most character-revealing part of it.  Here's how to trick yourself into a heartfelt handshake that makes the other person feel a deep connection.

As you extend your hand, visualize a powerful magnet in your palm about the size of a silver dollar. At the same time, imagine an ancient iron coin centered in his or hers. 

As your hands touch, WHOOSH, your palms are pulled together irresistibly by the magnetism. Now he/she senses your warmth and your handshake signals sincerity and closeness.

This one is super subtle but don't use the common phrase, "How can I HELP YOU?" It's very subconscious but it puts someone in the position of feeling they need help. And nobody likes to feel needy." Instead, substitute, "How may I be of assistance?"

Most people start their email messages with the recipient’s name. Example: “Maya, I really enjoyed meeting you.” But it sounds more personal if you use it at the END of the sentence: "I really enjoyed meeting you, Maya.”

When you have something really important to convey, use their name in the MIDDLE of a sentence to make that particular point jump out. Instead of just telling Chuck that “It is crucial that you come to the meeting,” drive it home by writing, “It is crucial, Chuck, that you come to the meeting.”

A final note: It's super warm and fuzzy to put their name as the final word in the message. Hearing their own name last is more pleasurable (and original) than “Sincerely,” “Best” or “Thanks.” Close your email with the “sweetest sound in the English language” to them–which is, of course, their own name.

Of course, don’t overdo their name – once or twice is per message is enough!

Whenever you want to express a strong opinion which people might disagree with, simply preface it with, "In my opinion . . ."  They surely can't disagree with that!