Author Archives: leil

In normal conversation, try not to talk for more than one minute straight without letting someone else make a comment. No matter how interesting what you are saying is, after a minute they start thinking, “How long is this guy/gal going to go on?”

Whenever inviting someone to dinner, you should ask about their dietary restrictions. But, whoa. Nobody likes to feel "restricted." Instead, ask your guest if he/she has any "dietary PREFERENCES." Then, they'll tell you if they're vegetarian, gluten-free, macrobiotic, vegan, Lacto Vegetarian, ovo-lacto vegetarian . . . whatever. (Then, of course, you must find out what the heck that means.)

The next time you are talking with someone and it’s important he or she knows you are telling the truth, turn your palms up. It subliminally says, “I have nothing to hide.” Police interrogators are sensitive to subtleties like this.

Keeping your palms up also express warmth and and acceptance of the other person. Often religious figures are depicted with their arms open and their palms facing up.

Lastly, a tip for the ladies. Sitting at a table, if you rest your chin on your knukles with your palms facing a man, it signals “come hither.” Knuckles express “go away.” In fact, whenever speaking with anyone, give yourself a hand check until “open palms” becomes a natural habit.

Professional speakers and comedians are prepared for all kinds of “disasters”—like telling a story you think is hilarious and no one laughs. (It happens to me a lot.) Perchance it happens to you, here’s what speakers call a “Save Line.” (Actually they call it a “Save your a__ line.“ Tell them, “Funny, my mother loved that story.” That will, at the very least, bring a chuckle.”

Are you tired of parroting the trite and almost obligatory answer to the routine question, “How are you?” Saying “Fine” is an almost knee-jerk reaction. The other day a good friend gave me a belly laugh when, instead, she answered, “I’m fine, but the parts are giving out.” Try it and see your friends smile.

When meeting new people, maintaining good eye contact is probably the most crucial element. But you already knew that!
In the Western world, strong eye contact signals honesty, respect, interest, intelligence, candor, and confidence. Yet, for many of us, the most difficult aspect of meeting people is looking into their eyes long enough to really connect with them.
Here’s help for the eye contact-challenged: During the introduction, hold their gaze while silently describing the color of her eyes to yourself. Are they blue? Brown? Green? Then check out the shape of his eyes. Are they round? Oval? Almond? Are her lashes short? Long? Curly or straight? What about pupil size? How much of the whites are showing? And how white are they? Yellowish? Reddish? A bit bloodshot?
That “Little Trick” (and a strong handshake) should put you on the path to a positive relationship.

When was the last time you felt left out when everyone was discussing something you knew nothing about? Here’s the first step in avoiding that. Take 10 minutes every day to Google for information and stories about a subject you’d seldom think of researching. Mushrooms? Massage? Mothers-in-law? Whatever! the subject is bound to come up sometime.

Here’s a quick tip to save yourself from an all-too-common social “ouch.”

Let’s say you spot a slight acquaintance at a gathering, on the street or anywhere. Naturally you say “hi.” But, ouch, he or she responds with a panicked look which probably means, “I have no idea who you are.”

You can avoid this happening by FIRST greeting them with something like, “Hi, I’m (your name,) We met at (where you met.) It’s good to see you.”

If they’re cool, they’ll pretend to remember you. But even if they don’t, they’ll have much better feelings toward you. And that’s the goal, isn’t it?

It's great to have a vivacious outgoing personality when running into friends. But, after saying "hi," pause for a second and let your friend speak first. That way s/he can set the mood and bring up whatever subject s/he like. Friends will enjoy the ensuing conversation a lot more—and thus think YOU are more interesting!