Author Archives: leil

How to Sound Smart in Your “Out-of-Office” Message


Author: Leil Lowndes

This little tip was hatched within minutes of my last newsletter when I received hundreds of overblown wordy automated replies. Avoid these 5 common phrases the next time you are on vacation. They make you sound stiff and less intelligent than you really are.

   1.  “This is an automatically generated . . ." (D’uh)

    2.  "I am currently out-of-the-office . . ."   (Obviously it’s “current.)

    3.  "This is to inform you . . ." (That sounds like the opening of a subpoena.)

    4.   "Upon my return . . ." (Sound human. Write "When I return . . .")

     5.  "I will respond in due course." (When is "due course?" Next week?  Next fiscal year?)

Oh, here’s my favorite:  "If you are a spammer, take me off your list." (Does the writer reallly think spammers will assiduously read the message, and say, "Oh darn, she doesn’t want us to contact her anymore? OK, we’ll take her off our list.")

To make yourself sound like the living, breathing  gracious human being that you are, say something like this the next time you are away:

“Thank you for your message. I am away until August 30 and will answer you when I get back. I’m looking forward to being in touch with you.”

And, if you really want to sound professional and warm, change the subject line from "Out of the office" to "I am away until . . ."

Happy next vacation!




How to Make Tiny Tweaks Add Up to Big Promotions


Author: Leil Lowndes

Often there is a line at my neighborhood drugstore. The regular cashier, who was on vacation this week, would usually mouth a bored “NEXT" after serving one customer. Today, however, there was a substitute cashier. After each customer she was pleasantlly saying, “Next client please.” What a big difference this small script change made! It turns out she was the top manager of the chain of pharmacies. I can see why if this was typical of the type of small enhancements she made to the business.

See what tiny better ways you can do things at work. Little things mean a lot to big bosses–and help you become one.




Make Tomorrow a “Complaint-Free” Day


Author: Leil Lowndes

When you complain about something—the weather, your boss, your job—anything, your listener naturally copies your dejected expression in sympathy. And whatever anyone’s face expresses, affects their emotions.  Therefore, your grumbling about something makes them sincerely unhappy—and they connect that unhappiness with you. People don’t like to be unhappy (duh) so they’ll start avoiding you.

Take it a day at a time Don’t let one complaint slip through your lips tomorrow. In fact, start right now. Then try to extend the moratorium on complaining another day . . . and another . . .  and another.




HOW TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR SHYNESS


Author: Leil Lowndes

So many shy people (I know, I was one of them) often assume that something is wrong with them because they're not "look at me" types. If you are a highly sensitive person as the majority of shy people, your brain functions differently from an extrovert's. You think more deeply. It takes you longer to process information. You try to listen carefully and usually speak more slowly.

Americans listen to outrageous radio and television personalities. We elect outgoing politicians. We listen to extreme rock bands, adore scantily clad show-off girls, and flock in droves to theaters to see bigger-than-life movie stars–and then stay up half the night to see them again on the Oscars.

Regrettably, our Western world does not recognize or reward introvert qualities as much it does extrovert. As a result, some “Shys” assume they are not as smart or as talented as the “Sures.” Stop! Wrong way! Go back! Countless studies have blasted the myth about shyness indicating stupidity. In many cases, in fact, it's just the opposite.

The majority of gifted children (60 percent) are introverts. In studies of intelligence, the higher the IQ, the higher the percentage of introverts. A greater number of National Merit Scholars are introverted than extroverted, and they get higher grades in Ivy League colleges.

            What this says is this: Value your God-given qualities and don't let anyone make you feel inferior because you don't like to sit around with the gang and chew the fat or to leap into conversations before you've thought things through. Even extremely confident highly sensitive people take longer to process their thoughts. Give deserved worth to your inner world and become comfortable with your quieter qualities.




A Sure-Fire Way to Meet People at a Party


Author: Leil Lowndes

Have you ever stood on the sidelines at a party wishing your outfit matched the wallpaper so no one would notice you? Or, worse, been trapped alone in the middle of a laughing, talking throng with a drink in a plastic cup and a plastic smile to match? When partying passersby smile at you, you assume they're smirking out of sympathy because you have no one to talk to.

If you don't know many people at a party, here’s the way to avoid this distressing situation. Make this agreement with someone at the gathering you do know well. Suggest, “Friend, I'll introduce you to everybody I know or meet, and you do the same for me." I call it a "Cross-Introduction Contract"

            You might think this is obvious and will happen naturally. But I assure you, unless you sign a verbal treaty, it probably won't!




How to Handle Getting Interrupted


Author: Leil Lowndes

 

I hate getting interrupted! Even when I’m saying something worthless, which is most of the time, I recoil when someone interrupts me. I have one friend who does it constantly. Of course he’s not trying to torture me. If he were, he’d let me finish making a fool of myself instead of cutting me off.

Due to his egregious intrusions, however, I became obsessed with seeing how other interruptees handled this dismaying situation. Over a six month period, I heard nine of unfortunate responses and retorts. Some of the following made the interruptee look worse than the interrupter.

Point to mouth and say, "Lips moving, still talking."

“If you don’t mind, I haven’t finished my point.”

“Is it my turn to speak yet?”

“Go ahead, you have the floor",

“I don't interrupt you when you talk, I appreciate the same courtesy.”      

“Ex-CUSE, me. I was talking.”

"Sorry for talking while you were interrupting",

"Excuse me, did I take a breath and give you the impression I was done speaking?"

"Shut the f__k up you ignorant twat, I'm talking"

So, how should you respond when someone cuts you off? Simply listen attentively to the interrupter. Then smile and continue, “As I was saying…"  (He or she will get the point, feel like a creep, but everyone will respect you – including the creep who interrupted you.)

 




What Authors Don’t Tell You


Author: Leil Lowndes

Authors often gush that writing a book is like having a baby. It's true. Like most conceptions, it all begins with a mind-blowing orgasm–the idea for the book you MUST write. You breathlessly scribble the proposal and ecstatically hyperventilate when a publisher says “Yes.” Then the madness begins–waking up in the middle of the night scrawling thoughts on scraps of paper, jumping out of bed at 5:00am cursing the coffee machine to go faster so you can get to the computer. During the few non-writing hours you permit yourself, you bore your exasperated family and friends with your fabulous ideas that are going to forever change readers’ lives for the better. Sheer ecstasy.

Finally the nine months of tough labor is over and your bundle of joy is born. (The one I just gave birth to is “How to Create Chemistry with Anyone—75 Ways to Spark it Fast and Make it Last.”) You caress the first author’s copy and, when no one is looking, even give it a kiss. Everyone "oohs" and "ahhs" at the pub party telling you how wonderful your book is (neglecting the fact they haven’t read it.) Then comes the publicity tour, nonstop media interviews, radio, TV, newspapers, magazines, and endless podcasts.

But then suddenly, about a month later, SCREECH – it all comes to a sudden halt. The slashed umbilical cord is agony. You get a bad case of postpartum depression and empty nest syndrome all rolled into one. So what’s the cure?

The blessed cure is something hopefully you have been doing all along and I’m going to start regularly now. Writing BLOGS. It’s the best part–-you have the pleasure of sharing your ideas with the world. And you avoid the worst, the anguish of post-book depression. My obsessive wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night passion has now returned. I hope to make difference in blog readers' lives by sharing my observations here and in my communication tips. I hope you’ll return here to my new site often to read them.

Please write to me and let me know where to find your blog too so I can have the pleasure of reading yours.