It seems that a virus is spreading all across America and is expanding at an alarming rate. The cause of the disease is not known, but it is highly infectious among the young. One unique aspect of this malady is that it primarily affects those born after 1984. And. for reasons to be revealed here, people over 30 who observe those suffering from it, find it especially nauseating.
It is called the “No Problem Syndrome.” Most tricenarians and above, hearing “No problem” in response to their “Thank-you” IS a problem—and frighteningly ubiquitous. In fact, just this morning at a coffee shop, I asked the server for some sugar. With a big smile, she replied “No problem.” I had to bite my tongue to resist asking her, “Why do YOU think it would be a problem to get me a few sugar packets?” Her saying “no problem” is tantamount to saying “I usually do find it is a problem to get sugar for a customer, but in this one particular case it’s ‘no problem.’”
OK dear young readers, thanks for letting me vent. I know you mean well and are sincerely trying to be gracious. Take heart from this: Soon all of us born before 1984 will be dead and you can say “no problem” to each other for the rest of your lives. In the meantime, please substitute, “You’re welcome.” (And if you really want to impress us, say “It’s my pleasure.”)